I found this somewhere on the ‘net a while ago … thought it might be worth reposting:

• There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
• A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
• The programmer’s national anthem is ‘AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!’.
• At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
• Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for “still doesn’t work.”
• Computer analyst to programmer: “You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.”
• Computer Science: solving today’s problems tomorrow.
• Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
• Hit any user to continue.
• I wish life had an UNDO function.
• If your computer says, “Printer out of Paper,” this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the “OK” button.
• It said “Insert disk 3…” but only 2 fit in the drive.
• Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
• 665.9238429876 – Number of the Pentium Beast
• I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
• Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
• “To know recursion, you must first know recursion”
• Life’s unfair – but root password helps!
• Mountain Dew and doughnuts… because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
• Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
• “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
• Intel: We put the “um…” in Pentium.
• Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says “Click…”, wait for the rest of the sentence.
• BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
• BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
• As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
• Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…..
• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…
• All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
• A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
• Managing programmers is like herding cats.
• “There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true.”
• “A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.”
• C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
• A computer scientist is someone who, when told to “Go to Hell,” sees the “go to,” rather than the destination, as harmful.
• 1010011010 – The binary number of the Beast
• APATHY ERROR: Don’t bother striking any key. Application has reported a “Not My Fault” in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
• “The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea.”
• There are 10 types of people in the world … those that understand binary and those that do not.